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Supporting the struggle…

There is always struggle.  We all struggle with something. There are different dictionary definitions of struggle, the one I most relate to today is: To be strenuously engaged with a problem, task or undertaking; to have difficulty or make a strenuous effort doing something.  Sometimes the struggle lies within ourselves.

Since being a mom I often feel my heart beats outside of myself.  With each difficulty that has met my children, I feel their pain.  As a mom you just want to relieve that pain, take it away. I can recall attempting to ease the pain of road rash from a scooter fall, or the pain of being left out… but over time what I once thought of as difficult… it changes… it becomes something entirely different. Our children are ages 22, 19. & 17 right now.  Our oldest son has graduated college and is currently searching for a job.  Our middle child, our daughter, has successfully completed her first year of college and has decided to defer acceptance for a bit for medical reasons.  And our youngest son is a high school senior, has a steady girlfriend, and is navigating his path to his future.  I guess you could say… We are in the thick of it.

Each one has there one unique set of needs, each one deserves to have our energy and  attention for whatever it is they are going through.  A lot of what they need is cheerleading, positive feedback for a job well done.  That part I feel I do pretty good at, I’ve always been careful to try to notice what they are doing to be successful and give positive praise for it.  When difficulty rises… not so easy for me.  I guess I usually remain positive, finding the silver linings and helping them to focus on that.  This gets more difficult as our children have gotten older, the level of difficulty and the stakes are higher, much more stressful.  This is where my husband is my entire strength… He listens patiently and intently to me, he understands me completely.  I have often referred to our family as our pack… “For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.”  (Rudyard Kipling)  In other words, we’ve always known we need each other, as they’ve gotten older that is to be reminded time and time again…  You are not alone.

With the statement “you are not alone”, when one of the pack is in a current struggle, it takes the strength of each member to support another.  One pack members struggle becomes the entire pack’s struggle. There should be no animosity for the extra energy as one never knows when the pack will need to pull together for oneself.

“Be strong enough to stand alone, Be yourself enough to stand apart, But be wise enough to stand together when the time comes.”